Straight from crazyapplerumors.com:
Jobs, Satan, Vehemently Deny Any Connection.
Responding to accusations by Dr. Richard Paley of a strong link between Apple and the forces of darkness, both Apple CEO Steve Jobs and Satan, often referred to as the Prince of Darkness, steadfastly denied the charge.
"There is no relationship," Jobs said this morning. "Contrary to what Dr. Paley claims, Apple does not 'support' Godlessness or Communism. As an equal opportunity employer, we support the freedom of religion that is protected in the U.S. Constitution, and we support the democratic process that makes this nation great."
Jobs did allow that one charge of Paley's may be construed as being true. "As for 'supporting' Darwinism, well, I guess we 'support' Darwinism. We also 'support' gravity, a Sun-centered solar system and the laws of thermodynamics."
For his part, Satan confirmed Jobs' claim that there is no relationship.
"Apple Computer?" the Prince of Darkness asked. "Hmm, no. Doesn't ring a bell. I do frequently make deals with individuals, but not with entire organizations. Maybe someone's not really clear on how this whole damnation thing works."
"I did once sponsor a little league team, but they all ended up becoming Presbyterians so I'm not doing that again."
Satan went on to explain that, even if he were in the habit of contracting with organizations, he would have very little interest in a relationship with Apple. "When your primary job is damning souls to eternal toil, you don't generally have much need for labor-saving devices like computers, you know what I mean?"
Asked if he vehemently denied Dr. Paley's charge, Satan said "Hey, I do everything vehemently, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
"Now, get of my office before I turn you inside out."
posted by CARS Staff | 4/22/2002
