lol. Alright, I'll try my hand at this.... ( oh no! bad pun! shoot me now!)...
1. Pray to the diety of your choice / cross your fingers, if applicable.
2. Firmly support the monitor by putting one hand behind the spot where the dead pixel is.
3. Approach dead pixel with thumb of your other hand. Press firmly, but not so firmly as to risk breaking anything. Rub in a circular motion with varying amount of pressure. On and around the area surrounding the pixel. It's scary, but it should work.
Really, I don't think you should have to massage TOO hard. You don't want to risk breaking your screen, making it much much worse. I'd still try calling Apple and demand a fix if massaging doesn't work.